Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Lesson 5: Wonderful things to say at an interview
Today I had the privilege to talk to Mike. Mike is a 30 year old Caucasian, married for six years to another 30 year old Caucasian; has a perpetually salivating Labrador, going by the name of Lucy that he rescued from a lazy owner who made Lucy miserable but was observant enough to realise that Lucy really could do with a walk now and then and would be perhaps better off with Mike, who likes walking dogs; and is a self confessed maker and shaker with 9 years downtime in the property investment game - 3 years London and 6 years in Australia. As I have come this far, I may as well keep going. Mike is stuck. That's right. I had the privilege to talk to Mike because Mike was stuck in peak hour traffic driving home from work, and thought he'd give me a call.
First thing Mike asked me was if I could make it to dinner on Tuesday night for a going away party for a mutual friend who is heading to the UK to master his business administration and who as fame has it, memorised phone books as a 2 year old, hence was only able to shake off autistic savant status within the fraternity when he learnt how to get off first base with girls. Unfortunately I had to pass on dinner and stressed that I would make it around later for drinks, Hello Kitty's favourite course. So where were we? Mike was stuck, and had called, had asked me to dinner, then we went through the workings of the day, and just in case you thought that this arrangement seems a little strange, that's exactly how I felt about it as well. I mean, I felt strange that Mike was cheating on his wife with me (us). We can all see it happening now. Mike will get home, wife says: "Hi darling, how was your day?" Mike responds, "That's fine honey, I've already covered that with Hello Kitty, can we talk about something else?" Wife says, "Who the fuck is Hello Kitty?" Mike says, "My special friend I call when I am stuck in traffic" and then all hell breaks loose.
Ok, so then Mike asks me about the 4th interview with company L, blablahblah, we're all fucking over it, me, you, the Nazis, the ancient Mesopotaniams, the Aztecs were so over it they poisoned themselves, the North Koreans, the native tribes peoples of Outer Van Diemans land who dressed as frogs are over it, the the blog readers are over it, the head hunter most definitely over it... and that's when I started to talk about suits.
Me to interviewer at Company L: "I'd really like to lock in a date, will need time to duck across and get some suits put together."
Interviewer: "So you'll get them in Korea will you?" sounding interested for the first time today, "How much will that cost you?"
Me: "Well, around 400 dollars in Korea, however have heard good things about a tailor in Thailand as a matter of fact, and am thinking of heading over there."
Wait wait fucking wait. Now before any of you start pulling out your copy of Job Seekers Handbook, Chapter 5 and start demonizing me for getting personal with the interviewer, I ask Mike, who if you remember back a few paragraphs has 9 years experience in the biz, if it was OK to get personal in this way.
Mike says: "Only if you told him you'd bring him back a suit if he signs the deal right this fucking moment, so we can all have a break from this shit."
Just then Mike gets home and looks forward to going inside and having that conversation with his wife. Hello Kitty on the other hand is packing his bags to fly back up to Sydney for interview number 5 with Company L. Next time I'm going to buy him the fucking suit.
First thing Mike asked me was if I could make it to dinner on Tuesday night for a going away party for a mutual friend who is heading to the UK to master his business administration and who as fame has it, memorised phone books as a 2 year old, hence was only able to shake off autistic savant status within the fraternity when he learnt how to get off first base with girls. Unfortunately I had to pass on dinner and stressed that I would make it around later for drinks, Hello Kitty's favourite course. So where were we? Mike was stuck, and had called, had asked me to dinner, then we went through the workings of the day, and just in case you thought that this arrangement seems a little strange, that's exactly how I felt about it as well. I mean, I felt strange that Mike was cheating on his wife with me (us). We can all see it happening now. Mike will get home, wife says: "Hi darling, how was your day?" Mike responds, "That's fine honey, I've already covered that with Hello Kitty, can we talk about something else?" Wife says, "Who the fuck is Hello Kitty?" Mike says, "My special friend I call when I am stuck in traffic" and then all hell breaks loose.
Ok, so then Mike asks me about the 4th interview with company L, blablahblah, we're all fucking over it, me, you, the Nazis, the ancient Mesopotaniams, the Aztecs were so over it they poisoned themselves, the North Koreans, the native tribes peoples of Outer Van Diemans land who dressed as frogs are over it, the the blog readers are over it, the head hunter most definitely over it... and that's when I started to talk about suits.
Me to interviewer at Company L: "I'd really like to lock in a date, will need time to duck across and get some suits put together."
Interviewer: "So you'll get them in Korea will you?" sounding interested for the first time today, "How much will that cost you?"
Me: "Well, around 400 dollars in Korea, however have heard good things about a tailor in Thailand as a matter of fact, and am thinking of heading over there."
Wait wait fucking wait. Now before any of you start pulling out your copy of Job Seekers Handbook, Chapter 5 and start demonizing me for getting personal with the interviewer, I ask Mike, who if you remember back a few paragraphs has 9 years experience in the biz, if it was OK to get personal in this way.
Mike says: "Only if you told him you'd bring him back a suit if he signs the deal right this fucking moment, so we can all have a break from this shit."
Just then Mike gets home and looks forward to going inside and having that conversation with his wife. Hello Kitty on the other hand is packing his bags to fly back up to Sydney for interview number 5 with Company L. Next time I'm going to buy him the fucking suit.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Lesson 3: Rule 1 of job negotiations:
Job 14: Rule 1 of job negotiations:
Just as a forenote:
Some of you may be wondering what an omerta is.
Just to be on the safe side-> an omerta is a silence between parties to cover up a truth that is not in the interests of one or all of the parties if it were to come to the surface. In most instances, an omerta acts like a whirlpool, dragging along all of the participants in such a way that it may be potentially hazardous for one's health to try and swim the other way. By example, we could quote a few movies - Fight Club with its omerta to not mention Fight Club. The Godfather, with the omerta hanging over the family to not mention transgressions. Then the omerta I ran into as an amateur cyclist in Belgium, 'do not mention what is in the fridge.' The omerta I experienced in my business dealings in Asia, 'what happens after dark happens after dark.' These are topics I will delve into at a later time if given the chance. However, lets not digress too much from topic.
Having quoted verbatim from the New York Times Bestseller in the last blog entry, it got me thinking. If we, singular unit we, the people, the people who have developed x-ray technology, nuclear fission, the wheel, Tim Tams, the karma sutra, intergalactic space travel, the internet, got the drift, can still go on, the high-rise building, the pedometer, drum and bass, whiskey, whisky, easily comprehensible taxation guidelines, democracy, movies in 3D, organic supermarkets.. wow. if we the people can invent all of these things we sure as hell can find some empirical evidence that lays out why it is that whoever mentions a salary figure first is bound to lose.
Then the counter lever dawned on me.. it was a true Da Vinci code breaking moment, a them against us, a real insight into the powers that be, those who control the world. It must have been... because it hit me then that the evidence is surely there, however there is a group of certain unidentified people whose full-time job it is to keep the evidence from view, hidden from jobseekers, hidden from those who want to know more about why the fuck it is they are playing a game of - you go first on salary figure.
Who are these people?
I am assuming that the mystery is ancient in tradition, passed on along hereditary lines, the ghost of Karl Marx a shimmer, a dark cloud that once threatened to unhinge that overall secret of salary negotiation.
Why do they keep the evidence hidden?
If we knew as a sure certainty, a well acknowledged and documented fact that, whomever mentioned a salary figure first, would lose that negotiation, would it not be an untenable position for the HR girl? Whether it be the young suavesque velvety thing who looks a bit like the daughter of the lawyer who you used to see on TV representing the corporate ghouls who brought down Enron, with her perfect mannerisms and smile that says, "I can't do anything wrong, I'm on fast track to blowtown with the CEO, didn't you know?", with her discreet, unassuming, "So how much do you want?" or the mid-30's ultimate corporate sex kitten HR pro, glassy-eyed, a power craving magnet with her ex-ballroom dancing champion gait, her 'glass-ceiling? I know no such thing' powersuit, looking down at you the whole time, and seizing the moment to quietly slip under your guard with her well-nuanced, leach-like, "What was the figure you were thinking of?" Or if it was the mate from next door manager, who wanted to talk football and beer, and had you marked as one of the boys ready to pounce on any young thing with his, "What are we talking money wise?"
To the young secretary, the powersuit and the matey matey, all variations on a theme, of the same omerta prolonging clan: What if I was to pull out Job Seeker Journal Autumn edition, flip to page 14, shove it in their face and say to him/her,"You surly mofo, I know you have a copy of this on your desk, so it is official, you are trying to fuck me on salary just when you thought I didn't know any better. Well do I have news for you? You can't burn bridges with people on your way up if you actually need them - and you need me to meet your KPI of employing at least 1 sales rep every quarter. Now you know that I know that last to talk figure wins - You First."
So there you have it Steven Spielberg for your next trillion dollar brain fade, the omerta has existed for a long time... eat your heart out. But then what happens if you actually take the job? That lovely thing, with her million dollar lip gloss smile, who tried to stitch you up on salary, all the while knowing she was using a sure tried strategy to squeeze every last cent. No way that I'll be buying her a coffee.
Just as a forenote:
Some of you may be wondering what an omerta is.
Just to be on the safe side-> an omerta is a silence between parties to cover up a truth that is not in the interests of one or all of the parties if it were to come to the surface. In most instances, an omerta acts like a whirlpool, dragging along all of the participants in such a way that it may be potentially hazardous for one's health to try and swim the other way. By example, we could quote a few movies - Fight Club with its omerta to not mention Fight Club. The Godfather, with the omerta hanging over the family to not mention transgressions. Then the omerta I ran into as an amateur cyclist in Belgium, 'do not mention what is in the fridge.' The omerta I experienced in my business dealings in Asia, 'what happens after dark happens after dark.' These are topics I will delve into at a later time if given the chance. However, lets not digress too much from topic.
Having quoted verbatim from the New York Times Bestseller in the last blog entry, it got me thinking. If we, singular unit we, the people, the people who have developed x-ray technology, nuclear fission, the wheel, Tim Tams, the karma sutra, intergalactic space travel, the internet, got the drift, can still go on, the high-rise building, the pedometer, drum and bass, whiskey, whisky, easily comprehensible taxation guidelines, democracy, movies in 3D, organic supermarkets.. wow. if we the people can invent all of these things we sure as hell can find some empirical evidence that lays out why it is that whoever mentions a salary figure first is bound to lose.
Then the counter lever dawned on me.. it was a true Da Vinci code breaking moment, a them against us, a real insight into the powers that be, those who control the world. It must have been... because it hit me then that the evidence is surely there, however there is a group of certain unidentified people whose full-time job it is to keep the evidence from view, hidden from jobseekers, hidden from those who want to know more about why the fuck it is they are playing a game of - you go first on salary figure.
Who are these people?
I am assuming that the mystery is ancient in tradition, passed on along hereditary lines, the ghost of Karl Marx a shimmer, a dark cloud that once threatened to unhinge that overall secret of salary negotiation.
Why do they keep the evidence hidden?
If we knew as a sure certainty, a well acknowledged and documented fact that, whomever mentioned a salary figure first, would lose that negotiation, would it not be an untenable position for the HR girl? Whether it be the young suavesque velvety thing who looks a bit like the daughter of the lawyer who you used to see on TV representing the corporate ghouls who brought down Enron, with her perfect mannerisms and smile that says, "I can't do anything wrong, I'm on fast track to blowtown with the CEO, didn't you know?", with her discreet, unassuming, "So how much do you want?" or the mid-30's ultimate corporate sex kitten HR pro, glassy-eyed, a power craving magnet with her ex-ballroom dancing champion gait, her 'glass-ceiling? I know no such thing' powersuit, looking down at you the whole time, and seizing the moment to quietly slip under your guard with her well-nuanced, leach-like, "What was the figure you were thinking of?" Or if it was the mate from next door manager, who wanted to talk football and beer, and had you marked as one of the boys ready to pounce on any young thing with his, "What are we talking money wise?"
To the young secretary, the powersuit and the matey matey, all variations on a theme, of the same omerta prolonging clan: What if I was to pull out Job Seeker Journal Autumn edition, flip to page 14, shove it in their face and say to him/her,"You surly mofo, I know you have a copy of this on your desk, so it is official, you are trying to fuck me on salary just when you thought I didn't know any better. Well do I have news for you? You can't burn bridges with people on your way up if you actually need them - and you need me to meet your KPI of employing at least 1 sales rep every quarter. Now you know that I know that last to talk figure wins - You First."
So there you have it Steven Spielberg for your next trillion dollar brain fade, the omerta has existed for a long time... eat your heart out. But then what happens if you actually take the job? That lovely thing, with her million dollar lip gloss smile, who tried to stitch you up on salary, all the while knowing she was using a sure tried strategy to squeeze every last cent. No way that I'll be buying her a coffee.
Lesson 2: Getting the Deal Done - Is there such a thing as Negotiation Etiquette?
Job 13: Job Getting the Deal Done: Is there such a thing as Negotiation Etiquette?
As my sister made a flying visit last month, she left the New York Times bestseller, 'What Color is your Parachute' on my bed, and when I went to inspect it, it opened on page 118. The print in italics that bounced off the page read:
'The purpose of salary negotiation is to uncover the most that an employer is willing to pay to get you."
I was instantly drawn to the print, but I did not start reading with full interest until I spotted this:
"During the salary Discussion, try never to be the first one to mention a salary figure."
It all seemed so simple. I was for some reason thankful that my sister had dropped this book on my bed. And then I had that self-loathing, arrogant moment that I tend to rejoice in as I get older: Here am I, a guy who has completed the Cambridge negotiations course, a guy who has dissected BATNA from the oil barons in Abu Dhabi to the warmongering North Koreans in the East, here am I learning rules of negotiation from this book. Yes. I had accepted the strategies of this book, and without rhyme or reason I have employed them without any active questioning.
This New York times seller planted a further seed of vindication for this feeling of angst: pg 121 "You can speculate from now until the cows come home as to why this is; all we know is that it is. -in negotiation, whoever mentions a salary figure first, generally loses." Empirically, if anybody can get some data on this, I'd be very happy to see the results. My only seminal addition to this school of thought is in the secondary - every time I have met for interview or had to fill out an application form - there is a blunt request for a salary figure. It seems that there is a broad consensus that his New York Times observation is indeed being accepted as truth.
I am just off the phone from my headhunter who has decided that they have worked out the best way to negotiate for me on salary with a particular job I am considering at this present moment.
There is a classic agency problem at work here. As the agent is paid a percentage of the total monetary package that I receive, they are inclined to bargain as hard as they can for every cent they can scrounge out of the Company on my behalf.
This simple agency problem aside, I have been led to understand that there are several clear rules that one should bear in mind when entering the negotiation phase of any job offer. In this blog I will attempt to lay out what the experts say - me personally, I can understand why you would want to get paid as much as you can get, as a matter of a few thousand dollars extra may help you wipe off your mortgage or pay for that end of year holiday, and at the same time is less than pocket change on a business trip in the scheme of things.
In this article, the author lays out some valid points that I have not covered so far. The first issue is that negotiation should ONLY start when there is a clear offer on the table. Secondly, there should be further consideration of strategies to be the last to propose a price, and to also understand the market and how far the Company will be prepared to go to meet your request - ie, how reasonable is reasonable at market.
As my sister made a flying visit last month, she left the New York Times bestseller, 'What Color is your Parachute' on my bed, and when I went to inspect it, it opened on page 118. The print in italics that bounced off the page read:
'The purpose of salary negotiation is to uncover the most that an employer is willing to pay to get you."
I was instantly drawn to the print, but I did not start reading with full interest until I spotted this:
"During the salary Discussion, try never to be the first one to mention a salary figure."
It all seemed so simple. I was for some reason thankful that my sister had dropped this book on my bed. And then I had that self-loathing, arrogant moment that I tend to rejoice in as I get older: Here am I, a guy who has completed the Cambridge negotiations course, a guy who has dissected BATNA from the oil barons in Abu Dhabi to the warmongering North Koreans in the East, here am I learning rules of negotiation from this book. Yes. I had accepted the strategies of this book, and without rhyme or reason I have employed them without any active questioning.
This New York times seller planted a further seed of vindication for this feeling of angst: pg 121 "You can speculate from now until the cows come home as to why this is; all we know is that it is. -in negotiation, whoever mentions a salary figure first, generally loses." Empirically, if anybody can get some data on this, I'd be very happy to see the results. My only seminal addition to this school of thought is in the secondary - every time I have met for interview or had to fill out an application form - there is a blunt request for a salary figure. It seems that there is a broad consensus that his New York Times observation is indeed being accepted as truth.
I am just off the phone from my headhunter who has decided that they have worked out the best way to negotiate for me on salary with a particular job I am considering at this present moment.
There is a classic agency problem at work here. As the agent is paid a percentage of the total monetary package that I receive, they are inclined to bargain as hard as they can for every cent they can scrounge out of the Company on my behalf.
This simple agency problem aside, I have been led to understand that there are several clear rules that one should bear in mind when entering the negotiation phase of any job offer. In this blog I will attempt to lay out what the experts say - me personally, I can understand why you would want to get paid as much as you can get, as a matter of a few thousand dollars extra may help you wipe off your mortgage or pay for that end of year holiday, and at the same time is less than pocket change on a business trip in the scheme of things.
In this article, the author lays out some valid points that I have not covered so far. The first issue is that negotiation should ONLY start when there is a clear offer on the table. Secondly, there should be further consideration of strategies to be the last to propose a price, and to also understand the market and how far the Company will be prepared to go to meet your request - ie, how reasonable is reasonable at market.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Last Blog :Blog Explanation
Unfortunately my friends, Romans, countrymen, this blog is dusted.
Hello Kitty would like you to understand that he should not be regarded as a chronic job interview failure - it is true that Hello Kitty's list of successful interview experiences is as long as the list of failures as documented in this blog. What Hello Kitty is bringing to you is a new generation of experts, much like the Michelin Food Guide Evaluator, and the aficionados of fine automotive machinery - Jeremy Clarkson and Co on Top Gear, what Hello Kitty introduces to this world is exactly that - the musings of the first generation of true job interview connoisseurs.
Hello Kitty's documentation of these interview experiences was essentially what one may describe as a Mezze - a term as first introduced to us by the golfer, aviator and wonderful orator, Oliver Green, who describes the Arabic term 'Mezze' as a series of 'Little Bites' from which he recreates sound bites of his travails across continent and enemy lines in the second World War. Hence, the apt title to end this blog, the surly, 'Mezze of Job Interviews in B flat major'.
The B flat major reference, if perhaps a little opaque for this generation which perhaps does not want to be drawn down by the formalities behind dissection of say Chopin or Mozart's wonderful B flat symphonies, is the finishing touch to this blog, which without it, would run the risk of being stuck between worlds; the worlds between heart and mind. As a once violinist who had a penchant for empty stairwells, B flat major was the only key that would allow free float into emotional discourse with oneself - and the millions of reverberations that were to follow, were just as good a justification for this divergence in title. Now having satiated my blog entry experience, which self indulgingly errs on the side of verbosity, like a grand building that lies no longer, I let my blog fly out to yonder, flying in B flat major....
Instructions:
1. Add to browser
->http://www.inbflat.net/
As a final clarification, this blog in no way, shape or form represents the state of mind of Hello Kitty. However, Hello Kitty has decided that the predilection of the human mind to generally induct a perception of writer is a negative externality that counterbalances to the author the actual objective of the blog - to take one on an armchair ride through the active career brainstorming that took place during these months April to July, 2010.
The rest of the journey is yours, and Hello Kitty walks into the winter sunshine, happier than ever, and embracing the new dawn that lies ahead.
Thanks for reading.
Hello Kitty
Hello Kitty would like you to understand that he should not be regarded as a chronic job interview failure - it is true that Hello Kitty's list of successful interview experiences is as long as the list of failures as documented in this blog. What Hello Kitty is bringing to you is a new generation of experts, much like the Michelin Food Guide Evaluator, and the aficionados of fine automotive machinery - Jeremy Clarkson and Co on Top Gear, what Hello Kitty introduces to this world is exactly that - the musings of the first generation of true job interview connoisseurs.
Hello Kitty's documentation of these interview experiences was essentially what one may describe as a Mezze - a term as first introduced to us by the golfer, aviator and wonderful orator, Oliver Green, who describes the Arabic term 'Mezze' as a series of 'Little Bites' from which he recreates sound bites of his travails across continent and enemy lines in the second World War. Hence, the apt title to end this blog, the surly, 'Mezze of Job Interviews in B flat major'.
The B flat major reference, if perhaps a little opaque for this generation which perhaps does not want to be drawn down by the formalities behind dissection of say Chopin or Mozart's wonderful B flat symphonies, is the finishing touch to this blog, which without it, would run the risk of being stuck between worlds; the worlds between heart and mind. As a once violinist who had a penchant for empty stairwells, B flat major was the only key that would allow free float into emotional discourse with oneself - and the millions of reverberations that were to follow, were just as good a justification for this divergence in title. Now having satiated my blog entry experience, which self indulgingly errs on the side of verbosity, like a grand building that lies no longer, I let my blog fly out to yonder, flying in B flat major....
Instructions:
1. Add to browser
->http://www.inbflat.net/
As a final clarification, this blog in no way, shape or form represents the state of mind of Hello Kitty. However, Hello Kitty has decided that the predilection of the human mind to generally induct a perception of writer is a negative externality that counterbalances to the author the actual objective of the blog - to take one on an armchair ride through the active career brainstorming that took place during these months April to July, 2010.
The rest of the journey is yours, and Hello Kitty walks into the winter sunshine, happier than ever, and embracing the new dawn that lies ahead.
Thanks for reading.
Hello Kitty
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Lesson 1: Why you should Make Yourself a +1
Yesterday I bit the metaphorical bullet.
Rather than the soft-landing switcharoo to a new workplace as I had assumed would happen, it has now been 4 months since my last pay packet at Company S. It is a hazy line... 4 months of taking on pro quo consultancy, translating, interpreting and tour guiding jobs to save eroding my savings base whilst seeking a full time job... yesterday it fully occurred to me that I didn't care about where the line was anymore, I had crossed it somewhere, and had rights to becoming the statistic that until now I had denied myself.. long-term unemployment +1.
This is the moment when you hear the monthly unemployment statistics, and feel cheated, feel cheated that your +1 is not sitting there like a rose in bloom, a flower to influence interest rates and Government fiscal strategy. So how does one become a +1?
Having envisioned that I would have to dust off my worn Levis and faded flannelette's, make my way down to Centrelink and join a queue of miscreants and the others who weren't ex-investment bankers, a quick web check proved otherwise.
2 phone calls and I had been connected to the Job Pathways program Not only was I now a +1, but Centrelink had also arranged a meeting with Kathy at Job Prospects, a professional job support agency, for 10am the next morning. I'm just back from my meeting with Kathy... I am feeling buoyed - like I have been hobbling around ignoring a set of crutches that the Australian Government has very nicely taken the time and effort to make available. Kathy spent 40 minutes going through my track record, and with her understanding of local market conditions, we have now realigned my strategy to include SMEs as well as the large corporate jackoffs, who in Kathy speak," had once been small and medium enterprises themselves". So my 24 hours of being a +1 has been fantastic... and i have had a great chance to test-run the Australian support system for unemployed first hand: Chappeau to all the other Kathies out there, working across all systems and doing a fantastic job.
Rather than the soft-landing switcharoo to a new workplace as I had assumed would happen, it has now been 4 months since my last pay packet at Company S. It is a hazy line... 4 months of taking on pro quo consultancy, translating, interpreting and tour guiding jobs to save eroding my savings base whilst seeking a full time job... yesterday it fully occurred to me that I didn't care about where the line was anymore, I had crossed it somewhere, and had rights to becoming the statistic that until now I had denied myself.. long-term unemployment +1.
This is the moment when you hear the monthly unemployment statistics, and feel cheated, feel cheated that your +1 is not sitting there like a rose in bloom, a flower to influence interest rates and Government fiscal strategy. So how does one become a +1?
Having envisioned that I would have to dust off my worn Levis and faded flannelette's, make my way down to Centrelink and join a queue of miscreants and the others who weren't ex-investment bankers, a quick web check proved otherwise.
2 phone calls and I had been connected to the Job Pathways program Not only was I now a +1, but Centrelink had also arranged a meeting with Kathy at Job Prospects, a professional job support agency, for 10am the next morning. I'm just back from my meeting with Kathy... I am feeling buoyed - like I have been hobbling around ignoring a set of crutches that the Australian Government has very nicely taken the time and effort to make available. Kathy spent 40 minutes going through my track record, and with her understanding of local market conditions, we have now realigned my strategy to include SMEs as well as the large corporate jackoffs, who in Kathy speak," had once been small and medium enterprises themselves". So my 24 hours of being a +1 has been fantastic... and i have had a great chance to test-run the Australian support system for unemployed first hand: Chappeau to all the other Kathies out there, working across all systems and doing a fantastic job.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Job 10: When you have no recollection of the company that calls you up asking you to come to interview or of having even applied for the job
Job 10: When you have no recollection of the company that calls you up asking you to come to interview or of having even applied for the job in the first instance
Process: Screening -> Phone Interview-> Group Interview -> Individual Interview -> Offer
The Short:
When this company called me up congratulating me on the fact that I had made it through to the phone interview for their international trainee intake, there was a very handsome voice on the line, full of probing vitality and hope, and a little bell dingling away in my right ear. That's right, I had little memory of who this company was, what they did, or why I would have even sent off an application. Now you're all doing it. That grimace. Ah. Ah &ah. These mild looks of disapproval are palpable and pulverising. Just give ma a chance here to explain. I know I know, I have the Job Seekers Almanac third edition 1989 as well, in which chapter 3 lays out the framework for cataloguing all jobs that you apply for so that you will not be in this situation. Well, guess what? I aced the phone interview, and I didn't catalogue. That said, Third Edition 1989, in due respect, from now on, I will catalogue. You win. You chronic cataloguers all fucking win this one.
So I stayed with the interview although I was on the par 3 fifth hole at Camberwell Golf Course enjoying the midday sun, and was awarded with promotion to the group interview for Company M, a Norwegian company that was pioneering SaaS products, and is a regular case study on Harvard and Stanford MBA programs, or so I have been led to believe.
The Interview:
This interview came during my grueling 8 companies, 8 different interview week, and was held at the Intercontinental Hotel by the Rialto. I loved the way company M presented, and although I never seriously considered taking a job, I was always going to do my best to receive an offer and to learn about what made this company grow from a 15,000 USD dollar start-up to one stretching 47 countries with 900 employees and 120 million USD of revenues in 2009.
So... The Group Interview & Highlights
->5 interviewers, all young and groovy and 13 interviewees, just as young and groovy
1) Company Introduction (1 hour lecture)
2) Individual Introduction -> talk about the most difficult thing you have done (non study related) The highlight was the burly 6 foot 4 rugby type who swore an his mother's orchids that the most difficult challenge he had ever had was climbing the Sydney harbour bridge... even Thor was quaking in his boots as the word 'furphie' dropped from the back of our lexicon onto a plate the size of a 20 cent coin. Even better was the guy who talked about his most challenging life achievement, booking a flight for his 2 week trip to Japan, and the greatest of them all... the girl who not only travelled to Poland but also managed to actually rent accommodation and live there for two years, never mentioning a word of anything else, leaving us with the vision of Polish Real Estate agents, ghoulish apparitions of fear and trepidations.
[Edit Note: Hello Kitty has been asked by a reader for his individual introduction at this particular juncture in proceedings. If you guys fill out my blog polls, I'll present the answer later on in the blog.]
3) Talking Task - Sell a hobby in 5 minutes to the panel. I was preceeded by a girl selling water polo, a guy selling golf, a guy selling model car building, a guy selling cycling, a girl selling learning foreign languages... and then my turn... I penned two and two together with all of the obscurity of adventure gardening, the highlight of this sport being when you kit up and go jumping neighborhood fences seeking offcuts of basil, parsley and thyme, all the while dodging k9 attacker drones. Adventure Gardening, subsidized by the Government, well, the water tank for your garden is if you know where to fill out the requisite paper work. Adventure Gardening, the perfect touches of basil and parsley on your home cooked pizza.
Process: Screening -> Phone Interview-> Group Interview -> Individual Interview -> Offer
The Short:
When this company called me up congratulating me on the fact that I had made it through to the phone interview for their international trainee intake, there was a very handsome voice on the line, full of probing vitality and hope, and a little bell dingling away in my right ear. That's right, I had little memory of who this company was, what they did, or why I would have even sent off an application. Now you're all doing it. That grimace. Ah. Ah &ah. These mild looks of disapproval are palpable and pulverising. Just give ma a chance here to explain. I know I know, I have the Job Seekers Almanac third edition 1989 as well, in which chapter 3 lays out the framework for cataloguing all jobs that you apply for so that you will not be in this situation. Well, guess what? I aced the phone interview, and I didn't catalogue. That said, Third Edition 1989, in due respect, from now on, I will catalogue. You win. You chronic cataloguers all fucking win this one.
So I stayed with the interview although I was on the par 3 fifth hole at Camberwell Golf Course enjoying the midday sun, and was awarded with promotion to the group interview for Company M, a Norwegian company that was pioneering SaaS products, and is a regular case study on Harvard and Stanford MBA programs, or so I have been led to believe.
The Interview:
This interview came during my grueling 8 companies, 8 different interview week, and was held at the Intercontinental Hotel by the Rialto. I loved the way company M presented, and although I never seriously considered taking a job, I was always going to do my best to receive an offer and to learn about what made this company grow from a 15,000 USD dollar start-up to one stretching 47 countries with 900 employees and 120 million USD of revenues in 2009.
So... The Group Interview & Highlights
->5 interviewers, all young and groovy and 13 interviewees, just as young and groovy
1) Company Introduction (1 hour lecture)
2) Individual Introduction -> talk about the most difficult thing you have done (non study related) The highlight was the burly 6 foot 4 rugby type who swore an his mother's orchids that the most difficult challenge he had ever had was climbing the Sydney harbour bridge... even Thor was quaking in his boots as the word 'furphie' dropped from the back of our lexicon onto a plate the size of a 20 cent coin. Even better was the guy who talked about his most challenging life achievement, booking a flight for his 2 week trip to Japan, and the greatest of them all... the girl who not only travelled to Poland but also managed to actually rent accommodation and live there for two years, never mentioning a word of anything else, leaving us with the vision of Polish Real Estate agents, ghoulish apparitions of fear and trepidations.
[Edit Note: Hello Kitty has been asked by a reader for his individual introduction at this particular juncture in proceedings. If you guys fill out my blog polls, I'll present the answer later on in the blog.]
3) Talking Task - Sell a hobby in 5 minutes to the panel. I was preceeded by a girl selling water polo, a guy selling golf, a guy selling model car building, a guy selling cycling, a girl selling learning foreign languages... and then my turn... I penned two and two together with all of the obscurity of adventure gardening, the highlight of this sport being when you kit up and go jumping neighborhood fences seeking offcuts of basil, parsley and thyme, all the while dodging k9 attacker drones. Adventure Gardening, subsidized by the Government, well, the water tank for your garden is if you know where to fill out the requisite paper work. Adventure Gardening, the perfect touches of basil and parsley on your home cooked pizza.
Job 9: When you get talked out of taking the job by the people hiring you
Job 9: When you get talked out of taking the job by the people hiring you
The job:
Having been adjusting to life back home for several weeks, the tedium of having everyone asking me how the job search was going anytime they had an opportunity had contributed to a mindset within my furrowed brow that any job is a good job, considering the economy. Deep down, I never believed a word of this drivel, yet when company E&Y came calling for a Project Coordinator position, it seemed as though it was the type of job that all of the good do askers would expect I should snaffle up, given the opportunity to... for Company E&Y is a great company... bollocks to the fact that I was never sold on the role. Whereas I wanted to be working on transactions, the role was advertised as Business Development in a big 4 consultancy, with client facing skills required (and not included in the description, glorified book taking).
The process: Screening -> Phone Interview -> Direct Interview -> Offer
The Short:
I printed off some competitor metrics and read the E&Y Global Report on the train on the way to the interview. Everything perhaps went too well... after a riveting hour of me trying to sell my passion for the role, the Partner interviewing me had come to the conclusion that I would do a brilliant job yet be bored with the role within 5 minutes and a high risk of jumping ship (division). He made it clear that it would be impossible to move to transactions from business development (whether true or not I have no idea). If ever I was trying to appease everybody by landing that middle of the road job: Epic Fail.
The Skinny:
HR came back to me asking if I would be open for a Manager position, and had decided that an Account Coordinator position was not what I wanted. I thanked them for their honesty, and let this opportunity to serve these corporate egoists for somebody else.
The job:
Having been adjusting to life back home for several weeks, the tedium of having everyone asking me how the job search was going anytime they had an opportunity had contributed to a mindset within my furrowed brow that any job is a good job, considering the economy. Deep down, I never believed a word of this drivel, yet when company E&Y came calling for a Project Coordinator position, it seemed as though it was the type of job that all of the good do askers would expect I should snaffle up, given the opportunity to... for Company E&Y is a great company... bollocks to the fact that I was never sold on the role. Whereas I wanted to be working on transactions, the role was advertised as Business Development in a big 4 consultancy, with client facing skills required (and not included in the description, glorified book taking).
The process: Screening -> Phone Interview -> Direct Interview -> Offer
The Short:
I printed off some competitor metrics and read the E&Y Global Report on the train on the way to the interview. Everything perhaps went too well... after a riveting hour of me trying to sell my passion for the role, the Partner interviewing me had come to the conclusion that I would do a brilliant job yet be bored with the role within 5 minutes and a high risk of jumping ship (division). He made it clear that it would be impossible to move to transactions from business development (whether true or not I have no idea). If ever I was trying to appease everybody by landing that middle of the road job: Epic Fail.
The Skinny:
HR came back to me asking if I would be open for a Manager position, and had decided that an Account Coordinator position was not what I wanted. I thanked them for their honesty, and let this opportunity to serve these corporate egoists for somebody else.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Job 7: When the people interviewing you are looking for the chicken and the egg
Job 7: When the people interviewing you are looking for the chicken and the egg
Company S is a major oil producer in Australia. The job was about analyzing production data, divestments and greenfield projects.
Process: Screening-> Phone Interview -> Panel Interview -> Direct Interview -> Offer
The panel interviewing me consisted of a lady from HR and two mid-managers. The two mid-managers seemed concerned that I knew too much about supply side pricing metrics and basically cut me off when I showed a level of mental computation that went above third grade.
What I have subsequently learned is that I lost out to other candidates who had spent years in the upstream field who had ready to go examples to prove their performance capacity. Aside from making up examples (a definite no-no), it comes back to the egg and chicken dilemma, sometimes you need the experience to get the job, but you need the job to get the experience... Company S just called with some solid feedback from the interview, and I am happy to get the thumbs up from them, and no shame in losing out to candidates who are ploughing through the straightaway in their field, rather than making a slight side-step like I was trying to in this case.
Company S is a major oil producer in Australia. The job was about analyzing production data, divestments and greenfield projects.
Process: Screening-> Phone Interview -> Panel Interview -> Direct Interview -> Offer
The panel interviewing me consisted of a lady from HR and two mid-managers. The two mid-managers seemed concerned that I knew too much about supply side pricing metrics and basically cut me off when I showed a level of mental computation that went above third grade.
What I have subsequently learned is that I lost out to other candidates who had spent years in the upstream field who had ready to go examples to prove their performance capacity. Aside from making up examples (a definite no-no), it comes back to the egg and chicken dilemma, sometimes you need the experience to get the job, but you need the job to get the experience... Company S just called with some solid feedback from the interview, and I am happy to get the thumbs up from them, and no shame in losing out to candidates who are ploughing through the straightaway in their field, rather than making a slight side-step like I was trying to in this case.
Job 6: Whoops...the job that starts 1st Jan 2011
Job 6: Whoops...the job that starts 1st Jan 2011
The job: Working within the Department of Foreign Ministry and Trade in Canberra on trade issues.
The Short: I actually received a phone call when I was in Korea asking me about my availability to this job. I decided to come back to Australia and go through with the application.
The process: Screening ->Phone Interview-> Exam -> Group Interview -> Interview -> Offer
The Short: The date of the phone interview was February 2010. When I completed the group interview I found out that the job did not start until 1st January, 2011... Um... what do they expect me to do for a living for the 10 months until then?
The job: Working within the Department of Foreign Ministry and Trade in Canberra on trade issues.
The Short: I actually received a phone call when I was in Korea asking me about my availability to this job. I decided to come back to Australia and go through with the application.
The process: Screening ->Phone Interview-> Exam -> Group Interview -> Interview -> Offer
The Short: The date of the phone interview was February 2010. When I completed the group interview I found out that the job did not start until 1st January, 2011... Um... what do they expect me to do for a living for the 10 months until then?
Job 5: The job that never was a job
Job 5: The job that never was a job
The process:
Screening-> Phone Interview->Panel Interview->Direct Interview-> Offer
The job: Australia has 46 companies in the Forbes 2000, a list of the largest 2000 global companies in the world. How do I know this? Well, one of my strategies for seeking work in Australia was to send off applications to global Australian companies where my international business skill set would be effectively utilized.
This job was with Company R, a leading exporter of iron ore to China, and a member of the Forbes 500. The position was to be an industry analyst with a direct focus on pricing analysis in the Chinese market, which accounts for over 60% of global demand.
The Short: I prepared for the panel interview with a silent fortitude that I rarely bother tapping into anymore. I met with colleagues who had worked in this company, and who were able to send me confidential data sets that would give me a good insight into the production metrics that company R were working with. When it comes to China, there are many sets of numbers, and the rational behind industrial production and hence steel production and iron ore pricing was where I placed greatest preparation emphasis. I contacted Steelhome and received analyst data on steel pricing across the industry, and also contacted friends in Real Estate in Beijing, looking to better understand the asset bubble unique to the Chinese market.
The Skinny: The interview could not have been more challenging, and more satisfying. I was very impressed with the panel questions, and I felt that I had done a very good job of answering the technical questions: Analysis of the Chinese economy, How to value a greenfield project; How to conduct business in Asia... nonetheless, following the panel interview company R seemed very upbeat about the match, to the point of selling the full terms of the contract so as to ward off other offers from companies I was concomitantly talking to.
One week later I received an automated email conveying that although my application was very impressive the job had been withdrawn and there would be no hiring for this position. Hence I had been unsuccessful on this occasion. Fair play. However, a phone call would have been nice. My attempts to get some feedback on what I may have done well and not so well in the interview have fallen on deaf ears. I felt that for my week's preparation, which I thought was evident in the way I conducted the interview, that a phone call would have been the respectful way of dealing with the termination of my application.
The process:
Screening-> Phone Interview->Panel Interview->Direct Interview-> Offer
The job: Australia has 46 companies in the Forbes 2000, a list of the largest 2000 global companies in the world. How do I know this? Well, one of my strategies for seeking work in Australia was to send off applications to global Australian companies where my international business skill set would be effectively utilized.
This job was with Company R, a leading exporter of iron ore to China, and a member of the Forbes 500. The position was to be an industry analyst with a direct focus on pricing analysis in the Chinese market, which accounts for over 60% of global demand.
The Short: I prepared for the panel interview with a silent fortitude that I rarely bother tapping into anymore. I met with colleagues who had worked in this company, and who were able to send me confidential data sets that would give me a good insight into the production metrics that company R were working with. When it comes to China, there are many sets of numbers, and the rational behind industrial production and hence steel production and iron ore pricing was where I placed greatest preparation emphasis. I contacted Steelhome and received analyst data on steel pricing across the industry, and also contacted friends in Real Estate in Beijing, looking to better understand the asset bubble unique to the Chinese market.
The Skinny: The interview could not have been more challenging, and more satisfying. I was very impressed with the panel questions, and I felt that I had done a very good job of answering the technical questions: Analysis of the Chinese economy, How to value a greenfield project; How to conduct business in Asia... nonetheless, following the panel interview company R seemed very upbeat about the match, to the point of selling the full terms of the contract so as to ward off other offers from companies I was concomitantly talking to.
One week later I received an automated email conveying that although my application was very impressive the job had been withdrawn and there would be no hiring for this position. Hence I had been unsuccessful on this occasion. Fair play. However, a phone call would have been nice. My attempts to get some feedback on what I may have done well and not so well in the interview have fallen on deaf ears. I felt that for my week's preparation, which I thought was evident in the way I conducted the interview, that a phone call would have been the respectful way of dealing with the termination of my application.
Job 4: There are no prizes for your hoop jumping (With Sequel)
Job 4: There are no prizes for your hoop jumping
The job: working with company K's corporate finance advisory as a consultant to the Australian Government on major infrastructure projects
Process: Screening -> Phone Interview with Canberra Manager -> Interview with Senior Manager from Sydney -> Exam -> Interview with Director of Division -> Offer
The fat: I passed through all stages and was left without an offer despite being given a verbal assurance by the director of the division that I had interviewed brilliantly and that by the time you get to him it is all about dotting i's and crossing t's.
The skinny: I noticed that company K started advertising the job again after I had completed my final interview. Even for someone with my seemingly omnipotent powers of positivity in the face of adversity, the writing on the wall did appear to be hand smudged in a poo-like lacquer. Having convinced myself that my final interview had been flawless (with the same buckets of humility i approach all things big and small), I made the monumental decision to contact HR on a stealth raid to find out how deeply my application was being undermined. My stealth phone call was met with a flat out lie, or so I thought.
HR: "Oh (an Oh that better signaled a, "fuck, I was totally unexpecting you of all people to call right now), I'm sorry, we have had trouble tracking down the Director of Corporate Finance who you interviewed with last week. When we track him down we will get back to you."
Me: I understand, please get back to me with some feedback (all the while thinking, then that explains why you have readvertised the position, because you have not been able to track down the Corporate Finance Director - oh yes. Great. That makes complete and perfect sense).
One week later I received a phone call from HR, which was steeped in Feedback, but very little else: "The feedback we have received is that you were a brilliant candidate, your experience is very impressive, and you couldn't have been any more impressive nor any closer to landing the job... you were THAT close, so you shouldn't feel bad, BUT... we have decided to go with someone who has experience working in Canberra."
What does one do from here?
It is not like I am of the age where I can fool myself into believing that when you fail to get the job that the interview experience alone is a valuable commodity with the liquid properties of a gold bar in a Saudi Arabian vending machine.
It is not like I enjoyed the stress of a timed verbal and numerical exam any more than a 90 year old geriatric would enjoy having to resit a driving test just in order to hang onto their license...
Its not like I am overwhelmed by a feeling of joy and satisfaction for having been able to jump through many hoops.
To sum up, being THAT close is very nice, if you actually get the job... and absolutely awful Fucking awful if like in my case, you fail, considering the time and stress they have put you through... is it possible that being screened out at stage one, whilst not necessarily nice, is much less taxing on your morale?
But is it that bad or that good? I mean, what could be worse than working in Canberra? So, other than providing for a particularly bland entry into this blog, not all is bad with Company K,. I mean, kudos to the girl in HR who was very lovely with her kind words of failure, which is much nicer than an automated email. And also, for rolling my application through to the Brisbane team (much nicer place to live), I am very thankful. Hopefully my hoop jumping in this case can be utilized in another instance.
Addition:
If there is one aside that ever I would like to add, it is this one. If ever there is a good time to be looking for work, it is this last month. We have had the World Cup football to gorge ourselves on, and last night, we had a mountain stage in the Tour de France starting at 10pm, the Silverstone motor GP and the World Cup Final that finished at 7am. Apologies to Dave for cutting short our night on the ambers in order to get back to watch the Tour; it could have been that sports events have become a quasi salvation for some of us, somehow recreating a synchronization treaty that remotely reconnects a shine of a shared humanity, if only as an imagined community said Benedict Anderson... and just then my handset starts ringing, starchy eye grit welding my lids in a semi-permanent state of closure. It started softly buzzing just as I had drifted off into a contented hibernation having gorged on Cadel taking the yellow in France, Mark sticking it up Red Bull in England and Spain cementing Holland's bridesmaid status for another 40 years in South Africa. Much like a gorged lion, unable to muster a coherent thought, I answered. The Company K job in Brisbane came and went in the same fleeting moment that it took Iniesta to smash home the winning volley that resigned Holland to defeat. And how in hindsight I wish I had wanted to argue with the ferocity of Mathijsen, and vent my spleen as had done Sneider at the injustice of Company K's decision to not consider my application for the Brisbane job...
I calmly interjected once, pointed out that although this lady did not merit my application worthy of an initial interview, that this was the very same team who had progressed me through 3 interviews and an exam already... but then I decided that sleep was much more important. Just like Holland, I had done my best... and if karma is a dragon worth its weight in fire and brimstone, this lady will have terrible, terrible sex for the rest of her life. The End.
The job: working with company K's corporate finance advisory as a consultant to the Australian Government on major infrastructure projects
Process: Screening -> Phone Interview with Canberra Manager -> Interview with Senior Manager from Sydney -> Exam -> Interview with Director of Division -> Offer
The fat: I passed through all stages and was left without an offer despite being given a verbal assurance by the director of the division that I had interviewed brilliantly and that by the time you get to him it is all about dotting i's and crossing t's.
The skinny: I noticed that company K started advertising the job again after I had completed my final interview. Even for someone with my seemingly omnipotent powers of positivity in the face of adversity, the writing on the wall did appear to be hand smudged in a poo-like lacquer. Having convinced myself that my final interview had been flawless (with the same buckets of humility i approach all things big and small), I made the monumental decision to contact HR on a stealth raid to find out how deeply my application was being undermined. My stealth phone call was met with a flat out lie, or so I thought.
HR: "Oh (an Oh that better signaled a, "fuck, I was totally unexpecting you of all people to call right now), I'm sorry, we have had trouble tracking down the Director of Corporate Finance who you interviewed with last week. When we track him down we will get back to you."
Me: I understand, please get back to me with some feedback (all the while thinking, then that explains why you have readvertised the position, because you have not been able to track down the Corporate Finance Director - oh yes. Great. That makes complete and perfect sense).
One week later I received a phone call from HR, which was steeped in Feedback, but very little else: "The feedback we have received is that you were a brilliant candidate, your experience is very impressive, and you couldn't have been any more impressive nor any closer to landing the job... you were THAT close, so you shouldn't feel bad, BUT... we have decided to go with someone who has experience working in Canberra."
What does one do from here?
It is not like I am of the age where I can fool myself into believing that when you fail to get the job that the interview experience alone is a valuable commodity with the liquid properties of a gold bar in a Saudi Arabian vending machine.
It is not like I enjoyed the stress of a timed verbal and numerical exam any more than a 90 year old geriatric would enjoy having to resit a driving test just in order to hang onto their license...
Its not like I am overwhelmed by a feeling of joy and satisfaction for having been able to jump through many hoops.
To sum up, being THAT close is very nice, if you actually get the job... and absolutely awful Fucking awful if like in my case, you fail, considering the time and stress they have put you through... is it possible that being screened out at stage one, whilst not necessarily nice, is much less taxing on your morale?
But is it that bad or that good? I mean, what could be worse than working in Canberra? So, other than providing for a particularly bland entry into this blog, not all is bad with Company K,. I mean, kudos to the girl in HR who was very lovely with her kind words of failure, which is much nicer than an automated email. And also, for rolling my application through to the Brisbane team (much nicer place to live), I am very thankful. Hopefully my hoop jumping in this case can be utilized in another instance.
Addition:
If there is one aside that ever I would like to add, it is this one. If ever there is a good time to be looking for work, it is this last month. We have had the World Cup football to gorge ourselves on, and last night, we had a mountain stage in the Tour de France starting at 10pm, the Silverstone motor GP and the World Cup Final that finished at 7am. Apologies to Dave for cutting short our night on the ambers in order to get back to watch the Tour; it could have been that sports events have become a quasi salvation for some of us, somehow recreating a synchronization treaty that remotely reconnects a shine of a shared humanity, if only as an imagined community said Benedict Anderson... and just then my handset starts ringing, starchy eye grit welding my lids in a semi-permanent state of closure. It started softly buzzing just as I had drifted off into a contented hibernation having gorged on Cadel taking the yellow in France, Mark sticking it up Red Bull in England and Spain cementing Holland's bridesmaid status for another 40 years in South Africa. Much like a gorged lion, unable to muster a coherent thought, I answered. The Company K job in Brisbane came and went in the same fleeting moment that it took Iniesta to smash home the winning volley that resigned Holland to defeat. And how in hindsight I wish I had wanted to argue with the ferocity of Mathijsen, and vent my spleen as had done Sneider at the injustice of Company K's decision to not consider my application for the Brisbane job...
I calmly interjected once, pointed out that although this lady did not merit my application worthy of an initial interview, that this was the very same team who had progressed me through 3 interviews and an exam already... but then I decided that sleep was much more important. Just like Holland, I had done my best... and if karma is a dragon worth its weight in fire and brimstone, this lady will have terrible, terrible sex for the rest of her life. The End.
Job 3: When they fly you interstate for a video interview
Job 3: When they fly you interstate for a video interview
I am just back from a day trip to Sydney having taken a third interview with Company L Investment team. Although the experience with Company L could have potentially been worse if I hadn't had the support of a wonderful head hunting company to dampen the interaction with HR, I am tired from being asked to jump through hoop after hoop after hoop. Unlike, Le Bron James at Miami, my hoop jumping seems to have no end in sight, which is the reason that I have started writing this blog, just to restore some perspective and to share the humour in this situation.
The Job:
The job is very similar to what I was doing at Company S - putting together investment deals for infrastructure projects - working from the development stage through qualification, Consortium Agreements, financial modeling, debt and equity financing, bid tender, and all things going well, financial close.
The Process
Screening -> Interview 1 (Project Director Melbourne + HR) -> Interview 2 (Executive General Manager Sydney + Manager Melbourne) -> Exam -> Interview 3 (Senior Project Director Sydney + Project Director Sydney)-> ??? -> Offer
I was first screened for this job in early June, 2010. It is now mid-July, 2010. You can understand why I may be mistaken for thinking that this process is taking an excessive amount of my time and energy. I am no 300 thousand dollar signing, yet considering the amount of proprietary knowledge and experience I am bringing from my last job, my significant academic experience, and my glowing references and strong track record in this industry (My team won our last bid tender, a 500 million USD package in Bahrain), can I be excused for feeling slightly bemused by the breadth of this process? Without wanting to sound like the wanker I surely am for writing this tripe, I have enjoyed the interviews with Company L... what has me rolling my eyes and writing this post is what happened at interview number 3.
I take a mid-morning flight across to Sydney, take the subway across town and find a place called Chatswood. The whole way across on the subway, a group of Korean ladies sat in the 4 seat 2 aisles up, rattling away as if they owned the whole audio sensory capacity of the carriage, and I had to do a double check to make sure that I was actually still in Australia. I had a coffee to kill the extra 30 minutes before the 4pm interview, vicariously took in an important lesson in that after lunch, a cafe worker should move all of the unsold drinks in the cooler fridge to the front window position (doesn't this make sense?), and headed up to the 8th floor. I am processed by the secretary, sit around in the foyer, and get to thinking about what this fuss could all be about.
Theoretically, having met the executive General Manager in round 2, having completed the personality testing exam, one could hope that it was deal time, or at least a chance to talk starting dates. Last of all, being flown up to Sydney, one could be excused for thinking they would be meeting people face to face. Well, imagine my surprise when it was not the deal breaking meeting with HR, when it was not the discussion on starting date, but was a video conference call with 2 senior managers, emulating the first round interview screening that had already taken place - yup, same questions, same answers. I think there was a movie with Bill Murray and Andie Macdowell that explored this topic in much better detail than this blog ever could.
I know what you are thinking. Not exactly the same thing as what I was thinking.
Perhaps if they had allowed me to have video taped my first round interview in Melbourne, I could have saved some time. You on the other hand, being full of pragmatism as are all of this blog's readers, were saying: "be reasonable, you've done it before. It's just a chance to do things even better." Well, I have checked the Job Seekers Almanac 1980 through latest edition, and as a whole there is not a reference as to what one should do in the case that they proceed through a course of identically minded interviews. The second time around I was a little bit more unsettled. Do these guys know I have passed through 2 rounds and a test already? So I actually found myself paraphrasing my first and second round interview responses - "and as I said to Peter in Melbourne; James said this in Melbourne, does it apply to your team here etc". Does anybody know if this is the right thing to do? Until we have answers, I can only be left to assume that there is no right or wrong, just feel your way in the dark, and hope to make it to shore.
TO sum up: Yes I had. I had just flown to Sydney expecting to close the deal and had been greeted with a video conference call..
I am just back from a day trip to Sydney having taken a third interview with Company L Investment team. Although the experience with Company L could have potentially been worse if I hadn't had the support of a wonderful head hunting company to dampen the interaction with HR, I am tired from being asked to jump through hoop after hoop after hoop. Unlike, Le Bron James at Miami, my hoop jumping seems to have no end in sight, which is the reason that I have started writing this blog, just to restore some perspective and to share the humour in this situation.
The Job:
The job is very similar to what I was doing at Company S - putting together investment deals for infrastructure projects - working from the development stage through qualification, Consortium Agreements, financial modeling, debt and equity financing, bid tender, and all things going well, financial close.
The Process
Screening -> Interview 1 (Project Director Melbourne + HR) -> Interview 2 (Executive General Manager Sydney + Manager Melbourne) -> Exam -> Interview 3 (Senior Project Director Sydney + Project Director Sydney)-> ??? -> Offer
I was first screened for this job in early June, 2010. It is now mid-July, 2010. You can understand why I may be mistaken for thinking that this process is taking an excessive amount of my time and energy. I am no 300 thousand dollar signing, yet considering the amount of proprietary knowledge and experience I am bringing from my last job, my significant academic experience, and my glowing references and strong track record in this industry (My team won our last bid tender, a 500 million USD package in Bahrain), can I be excused for feeling slightly bemused by the breadth of this process? Without wanting to sound like the wanker I surely am for writing this tripe, I have enjoyed the interviews with Company L... what has me rolling my eyes and writing this post is what happened at interview number 3.
I take a mid-morning flight across to Sydney, take the subway across town and find a place called Chatswood. The whole way across on the subway, a group of Korean ladies sat in the 4 seat 2 aisles up, rattling away as if they owned the whole audio sensory capacity of the carriage, and I had to do a double check to make sure that I was actually still in Australia. I had a coffee to kill the extra 30 minutes before the 4pm interview, vicariously took in an important lesson in that after lunch, a cafe worker should move all of the unsold drinks in the cooler fridge to the front window position (doesn't this make sense?), and headed up to the 8th floor. I am processed by the secretary, sit around in the foyer, and get to thinking about what this fuss could all be about.
Theoretically, having met the executive General Manager in round 2, having completed the personality testing exam, one could hope that it was deal time, or at least a chance to talk starting dates. Last of all, being flown up to Sydney, one could be excused for thinking they would be meeting people face to face. Well, imagine my surprise when it was not the deal breaking meeting with HR, when it was not the discussion on starting date, but was a video conference call with 2 senior managers, emulating the first round interview screening that had already taken place - yup, same questions, same answers. I think there was a movie with Bill Murray and Andie Macdowell that explored this topic in much better detail than this blog ever could.
I know what you are thinking. Not exactly the same thing as what I was thinking.
Perhaps if they had allowed me to have video taped my first round interview in Melbourne, I could have saved some time. You on the other hand, being full of pragmatism as are all of this blog's readers, were saying: "be reasonable, you've done it before. It's just a chance to do things even better." Well, I have checked the Job Seekers Almanac 1980 through latest edition, and as a whole there is not a reference as to what one should do in the case that they proceed through a course of identically minded interviews. The second time around I was a little bit more unsettled. Do these guys know I have passed through 2 rounds and a test already? So I actually found myself paraphrasing my first and second round interview responses - "and as I said to Peter in Melbourne; James said this in Melbourne, does it apply to your team here etc". Does anybody know if this is the right thing to do? Until we have answers, I can only be left to assume that there is no right or wrong, just feel your way in the dark, and hope to make it to shore.
TO sum up: Yes I had. I had just flown to Sydney expecting to close the deal and had been greeted with a video conference call..
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